767 Comments Posted by flushed

or tell me how to contact you

post your email

LarryD it occurs to me you may have a misconception of the hospital and my presence. I was at the children's shelter which was on the grounds of the hospital in buildings formerly used for staff to live in. There was a children's ward in that hospital where people left children that normally stay home today, that is MS, Cerebral Palsey and otherwise developmentally outside the norm children. It was a dumping ground.
The abusers were the staff of that ward, the staff of the children's shelter smoe random nurses and other personnel of the hospital. There is a book by Michael D'Antonio called the Great Boys Rebellion about a place near Boston which pretty well describes the abuses and mentality of the abusers literally right down to the exact same wording of the threats used.. As I read it I wondered if maybe some of the staff in my case had worked there or visa versa. The abuse I endured exceeded what is described in that book.
I felt it necessary to mention this since I have seen many reports of former patients and family of patients who have good things to say about SOHO.
I expect I was under the control of people who it seemed to me used their access and trust of the doctors built through dissembling to seek out victims among the patients who had no family and were not particularly paid attention to by anyone.
These abusers were a well known fact of life at that hospital as it was common to threaten misbehaving children with being sent there if they did not come back into line.

exact same paint = that yellow paint. I'm guessing maybe it was not painted since then.

I remember I was taken to this hall and no one explained why but made sure to try to make me fearful of it. They alwasy did that with anything. I sat at that desk that is on end, maybe the exact same one, and took some kind of test a mean man or older kid sat at the other desk . I walked up to that office it was the exact same paint then as was the hall (I previoulsy mentioned), the room was full of desks and people. There was a woman sitting at a desk that was just inside the doorway. Her desk was set to face out the hallway but was a couple of feet into the room. She shouted at me not to cross the doorstep and after saying something humiliating me made me wait what seemed like forever until eventually someone came and took the papers from me. Then the mean man took me back toward the source of the photo where we had come in. I don't recall the exact path we took but it had been unnecessarily circuitous as everything they did and said ot me was to make sure I sounded wrong if I ever talked about it.

Thanks. Me too Larry D

When I say damaged I mean they meant to inflict mental as well as physical damage. Inflicting brain damage that affected the speech center seems to have been a favorite kind of torture, at least it was with me.
Imagine being unable to communicate your thoughts. You can speak but no one ever seems to get from those words the ideas you are trying to convey and you cannot find the correct words to correct it. This is living hell. People have ideas about you that have nothing to do with the truth of who you are and your ability to speak is good enough they never believe you when you say "no I did not mean that I meant this..." being smart or clever only serves to make this worse. It is a soul destroying prison.

Thank you for the acknowledgemnt Larry D. I don't have an explanation for the time span between. I look at these pages now and then hoping to recall a name or something else more concrete than the memories of the torture and abuse. Mostly hoping some fellow victim finds this place and makes contact. I think that last few times I looked at this page I did not check for a new post.
The closest thing that describes the things that went on here has always been Mengele's torture of children. The only difference was intent of the abuse and desired outcome. These folks wanted damaged children still conscious enough to know what was happening as it was done and for them to know how and why they were damaged at the end of it. More recently I have come across a couple books, one by Michael D'Antonio, The great Boys Rebellion about a similar place in Massechusetts. And another book by Howard Dully called My Lobotomy about how his aunt had him lobotomized at age 12. The similarities from the eugenics to the specific threats and abuses used as well as accusations made (who the hell came up with the idea of smearing shit on walls?)makes me wonder of there isn't some cultural transmission of the knowledge and techniques abusers use via some weird national pervert organization.

I used to be made to sit on that left bench side wall while my watcher sat on the right. She was mean and hateful, refusing to speak to me and yelling at me if I spoke anyway. I was not allowed to walk or move around and when I fidgeted she would yell at me to be still.
This place was populated with evil staffers who ran an underground operation. They had access to all the records and patients as well as the ears of the docs. They had two or more faces depending on whom they were dealing with and what they happened to want at any particular time. They used this usurped power to act out their insecurities by abusing patients, bullying patients, torturing patients and the children from the attached shelter, physically and mentally and by abusing the trust doctors misplaced in them to cause painful and abusive unwarranted treatments and tests to be done on their victims by reporting symptoms falsely (or just making some up) to the doctors.
They also used drugs and medical equipment and procedures to torture and abuse the patients they chose to make victims. These were usually those children abandoned by their families or adults who had no one to look in on them. Always the helpless never anyone who might be able to defend themself. They wielded absolute control over communication and access. This served to create a virtual prison environment for those chosen to be abused.
The place was hell for thousands of people and many thaousands of lives were destroyed here for sport and entertainment.

Wow thanks Motts. I see now how I made the mistake a couple of the buildings are still there along C. street

Wow, I feel ashamed for not recognizing that the buildings were different, heck there are trees out where that dirt field is now. I wonder if I can find a photo from 1964-67? They don't looks so big.
And Mott's I did recognize some of the places you posted. Too bad they're gone it'd almost be worth a trip to trigger some memories.

Humble pie for me.
I just looked at a historical aerial photo of the place from 2000 and I'm struck dumb. I recognize the old buildings in a sort of kind of way. It was the hospital that I remembered mainly because of the time I spent in there. But I'm humbeld because I thought I recognized the layout of those condos as the footprint of the old childrens shelter even the pool somehow. I wonder...I never saw the pool I was only told about it as a torment since I wasn't allowed to go. But all my siblings did.
Anyway one more sign that this search is going to be just as difficult to sort out as the original experience was to endure.
If you're gonna be dumb, you'd better be tough.

I've just looked at google earth and th emain hospital building and the layout at least of the buildings out back right down to the location of the swimming pool are still the same as they were in the 60's. The google earth pic is from 7-5-07 I think they built condos in the same layout or by rehabbing and adding onto the older buildings. The street views are of taller more modern looking buildings but the google view has a layout that looks correct for what I remember. Oh yea that dirt lot is stilll a dirt lot,. They used to park county trucks there.
The hospital itself was never well maintained at least from the time I was there and the neglect inflicted damage I saw as a chiuld in the 60's was from my adult experience as a construction worker, not kept up since probably 1955 or so. Right about the time the county bought it. Hmmm no surprise there. Forget about it! :-] I crack me up

I saw on in a hospital museum display last week. It is for treatment of TB I forget the nam Pulmonary something or other. My first thought was of this photo.

Towel Head,
It isn't closed down. This building is owned by the County/State and this is only a disused section of it. I'm not going to identify it out of respect for Mott's work and his request. But it is currently used and has variously been almost completely empty and chock full since it was built in 1932.