767 Comments Posted by Flushed

One more thing there are a couple of posts missing at that link. Too bad I didn't record them before they were deleted. I had got lazy and started posting direct and copying later and well I guess someone had the posts deleted because I exposed something. If only I could see them again I would know what direction to look in.

Hey Pookie! everyone. I lost this page when Motts changed the site. I did not remember what it was since I was using the latest post function to get here. Anyway some guy worried about people posting names on the cornered page posted in the forum asking they be removed and i came to look and recognized stuff and started surfing and found my old posts. Here is where I began posting stuff in November 2013 http://www.topix.com/f...nj/TV02FNMT3GE8K208B
It was a bad day on waking then I realized I had forgotten something I had remembered the day before that had made me quite hopeful. I figure it was something that would lead to finding others. Anyway how I got out of the funk that time was to start recording my returning memories and thoughts as they came so that I would have a record. I posted them hoping to find others. No luck from that site. I did find one guy who was there before I was born who described the same things. We spoke for a week and in that 7 days he got triggered and cut me off. He had survived by suppressing everything. His life was hard and he had been in prison for a long time too as were his brothers still. The older brother has died and the younger is still inside. His brothers were in there with him as well.
If you try to read this it is not a linear story. It is the recording of memory fragments as they return out of sequence. Take it easy reading it. The stuff is horrifying and very ugly. I also add in what has happened since I was triggered to remember in my attempts to get my records and police action.
I hope everyone is doing well I have kept on keeping on. I know a little more now about my PTSD than I did previously and understand that a lot of why I cannot get help is how the abuse and the PTSD affects the way I see things and therefore describe them.
Yea :) Just cause I still exist and find ways to cope does not mean I have not and do not suffer.

Back again reading over the sight. I hope Joseph Pimental is doing well even though I do not see new posts on this page.
I reread your post that I responded to and it seems odd to me that I did not recognize and mention that feeling of paralysis you describe. In REM sleep some mechanism of the brain paralyses the body so you don't injure yourself while running around in your dreams. You describe a state I endured for years after being sent on to just as abusive foster care from the hell hole I was in. I have deduced that it was me in REM sleep becoming conscious of being in that state but not realizing I was asleep. It also happens when I stop breathing in my sleep and forces me awake. Turns out I have sleep apnea.
If this was happening as a child and started then I would bet money it was PTSD related to whatever happened to you in Gaebler. I only figured out since my last post here that I have had PTSD since my time in custody as a child, possible even from before then.
Anyway I hope you are well and have worked out the causes of what ails you. Even if you can't fix it knowing is some relief.

chill out Mr Williams they are all former residents speaking to each other about the people they knew trying to connect with each other. If you had been locked in a hell hole maybe you'd understand how it stays with you forever regardless of what you try to do.

I believe it was referred to as "institutional green" Darlene, at least that is what all the people I heard refer to it say. It probably has a proper name more like what you suggest. There is a myth about the color being so ubiquitous after the war because of war production surplus of green pigment.

I just noticed the piers on the right. That one closest to us has a pipe support mounted on it probably for a 12" line.

Autoguy, those piers are for equipment, most likely pumps. That is how large high torque equipment is mounted. They have to be balanced and the mount mustn't move or warp.

"The older buildings are the old growth forests that will never be seen again."
Sure they will once the coming apocalypse kills most of the people there won't be enough of us left to keep them cut back. :) reason to hope :0

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up two cars to one
When you say something like this choice:
"Either now or later"
Or no choice:
"Neither now nor ever"
Hey that's clever!
Eat this or that, grow thin or fat,
Never mind, I wouldn't do that,
I'm fat enough now!

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up phrases and clauses that balance, like:
Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
He cut loose the sandbags,
But the balloon wouldn't go any higher.
Let's go up to the mountains,
Or down to the sea.
You should always say "thank you",
Or at least say "please".

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up words and phrases and clauses
In complex sentences like:
"In the mornings, when I am usually wide awake,
I love to take a walk through the gardens and down by the lake,
Where I often see a duck and a drake,
And I wonder as I walk by
Just what they'd say if they could speak,
Although I know that's an absurd thought."

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up cars and making 'em function.
Conjunction Junction, how's that function?
I like tying up words and phrases and clauses.
Conjunction Junction, watch that function.
I'm going to get you there if you're very careful.
Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
I'm going to get you there if you're very careful.
Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
I'm going to get you there if you're very careful.

ok uere's the rest of the lyrics
http://www.lyricsmania...choolhouse_rock.html

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up two boxcars and making 'em run right.
Milk and honey, bread and butter, peas and rice.
Hey that's nice!
Dirty but happy, digging and scratching,
Losing your shoe and a button or two.
He's poor but honest, sad but true,
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

"And":
That's an additive, like "this and that".
"But":
That's sort of the opposite,
"Not this *but* that".
And then there's "or":
O-R, when you have a choice like
"This or that".
"And", "but", and "or",
Get you pretty far.

Conjunction Junction, how's that function?
I got three favorite cars
That get most of my job done.
Conjunction Junction, what's their function?
I got "and", "but", and "or",
They'll get you pretty far.
.....

They will have laid those bricks on top of a form that was moved along as they worked.

Its my third time looking at this one first time I noticed the 2 small things lying to the right and above the can. Are they syringes?