77 Comments Posted by pookie,Former Patient

Patrick, I know Sandy, she was on my Ward, Ward D, she was my bestfriend, I know she is from Ayer,Mass, I have been trying to find her for years and years and have had no luck, I hope she is ok. I don't remember a Sean Green,but, if I ever find Sandy I will let you know, she was awesome and so pretty, every boy there wanted her, I know she went with Danny after I left and then Alex after Danny, or Vice Versa.....

Patrick ward e 82 to84, hello there, you were on the ward my cousin was on when I was there, her name is Renee B, don't want to put last names on here. Sorry you had to be there as well as the rest of us, but, we are much better people for it. Everything I do in life, I try and do right because I always have that fear in the back of my head someone will take me and put in an adult mental institute, I am happily married with 2 wonderful daughters, I don't have a house,or expensive cars and clothes, but, what I do have is my sanity,my husband and daughters and they have made me who I am today....

I was there 90 91 you are correct, that was no place for a child,maybe if we didn't get abused,verbally, mentally, physically and some sexually and drugged all the time, then maybe that place would have been able to help kids, but, all the place was, was a place for adults to take total control over us kids, and they knew they had all the control in the world...If I could find where the staff are now that I had on my ward, I would for sure give them a piece of my mind and exploit the abuse they did to us kids....

Patrick, I believe you were on my ward, I was on Ward D, to the right of this picture which is the gym, our tv room was outside the locked door to our unit. I was there in 82-84, the staff at the time were, Suzanne,Willie, Jack,Harvery,Melody with the hook hand, Joanna, I can't remember the rest of the staff's name, we also only had 1 shower stall which was on the left of my bedroom with the rainbow in it, we got locked in the shower room and had to bang the door to get unlocked and let out, we didn't have doors on the bathroom stalls, all the floors were the concrete ones, they were really hot in the summer cause we had no a/c and really cold in the winter cause the heat never worked. I hope you are doing well in your life and that things are now going the way you want...it's always nice to hear from someone else who was a kid and pt there....

Madison Stanton, Maybe you are the mentally ill one, we were just kids, we weren't crazy or mentally ill, everyone has problems and we weren't any different, shut your mouth up, you have no clue what you are talking about...don't mess with us former patients, if you want to call us mental, trust me, we can show you mental you mean and cruel in humane person....

Jan Pinkowitz, William Gaebler is the one who built Gaebler, as well at Met State Hosp down the street from Gaebler. Tom Heathwood is the asshole who ran the place, he is the one who implemented the treatment of us children. We were abused badly, the staff treated us like we were their punching bags. We got drugged, mentally,verbally and physically abused. If you didn't tell the Dr's there what they wanted to hear then you paid the price. I don't know who you are, but, please get your facts straight before you post on here. I was a patient there for 2 years and you can't even imagine the hell we as kids went through.

Professor Girk,
This is not where they kept the children, I was a pt at Gaebler 82-84, this is the gym on the floor I was on at Gaebler, so I don't know who you are, but, get your facts correct before you post on here and thank you...

"Flushed"
I am so sorry for the hell you went thru, it should have never happened to you or any of us for that matter. We were kids, Bill seems to think that we were horrible children and that we were in a jail. It was never called a jail, it was and til this day is called a mental institution for kids with problems. Yes, there were kids there that did arson, yes there were kids there that did assualt and battery, yes there were kids there that attempted murder, but, not all the kids were there for those reasons, I was there because I skipped school for 4 days in a row, and that I had a behavior problem and couldn't live in society, they said I tried to kill myself by sticking my head out a window to get some air, it was crazy. So, Bill the Boiler room guy has no clue what he is talking about, he is just trying to make himslef look good and act like he knew everything that was going on when he didn't and he should have never talked to you the way he did. I feel bad for any children he has brought into this world, cause I am sure if he is like this with us here on this web page then I can just imagine the lies he tells his children and he probably has abused them and thinking it's allowed cause it was allowed in Gaebler, I don't know, I just don't like his holyer than thou attitude. No one has the right to say anything unless they have lived this hell of a life when they were a child. I hope that you are alright now and that you are doing well in your life, and I really am sorry that you had to endure so much as a child......

"Boiler1220"
I love you and you know that, you are truly a great friend to me, and so glad to know you,hang with you and have you in my life....no one will ever understand the bond we have or what we went thru at Gaebler unless they themselves went thru something like that in their own lives or lived in a place like Gaebler or even at Gaebler. what we went thru and lived thru has only made us stronger and more wise in the real world and cautious as all hell and we will never be taken advantage of or abised again and that is also what makes us the most understanding parents to our own children and we know how to deal with things that they do that are wrong and we know how to work them out without taking them to court and putting them away in mental hospitals, lock ups and pysche hospitals.

" I Worked There"
you should have never been allowed to work the overnight shifts on the wards at all, you were not certified and of course you didn't see anything go on then, cauise we had to be in bed at 8pm and lights out at 8:30pm so we were in our rooms asleep by the time you got there, as for you falling asleep well, a lot of the staff did at that shift and that was fine cause it was allowed, But, please for the sake of us children who went thru hell there please stop patting yourself on the back and telling us what a nice man you were to us kids, cause you weren't nice to all of us, you weren't around all of us, and you should have never been able to be around us since you were not a certified dr.counselor or therapist or staff member of the wards. I am thankful that the kids you did interact with you were nice to them, but, ithat doesn't give you the right to stand here and defend the staff who were abusive,mentally, physically and sexually...If you want to do something good then you should contact the staff members on the wards and have them come on here and leave us posts as to why they did what they did, and to own up to the abuse they gave us and apologize to us, you would be surprised how much an apologiy would mean to us and an explanation as to why they did what they did.....

I just read Flushed's posts,Boiler1220's posts and P's posts and I have to say that they are so right...."I Worked There" will always stick up for the staff because I honestly believe that he was told to never say antthing that he see's going on there, but, that was then and this is now and I feel that he is just being really mean to us patients tha went thru hell there, of course the staff would do nice things after they friggin abused us, it was to confuse us in to thinking that the abuse they gave us we deserved so in return to make themselves not look bad in our eyes they would do someting to conteract what they just put as thru. On my Jack,Harvey,Elaine,Joanna, Melody were so mean to us verbally and physically and mentally, I know for a fact that Jack was having sex with a girl who name starts witj a S, Harvey would beat the crap out of a kid with the first letter D to the point where he almost died, Harvey did get prosecuted and found gulty and D's parents got a call from Willy the nice staff on my ward to come and get him, and take him to the hospital, there was sooooooo much of that kind of abuse going on there, so for Bill the boiler room man to stand there all proud and shit because he was nice to the kids, well, ok he was one of the nice ones but, he has no rights on here to speak of the entire staff, and for him to fill in on the 11pm-7am shift was totally against the law, since he was not certified at all to be around us kids, so let him feel good about himself cause he knows the truth and just doesn't want to say it cause he was sworn to secretcy. We did get treated good at times, but, there was so much more bad treatment then anything else. WIlly and Suzanne were our saviors, they were sooooo nice to us kids, they did not abuse thier power at all. Melody with the dam hook arm and hand was abusive, I mean she should not have been allowed to touch any of us kids with the metal hook and arm, she hurt a lot of kids with it, I don't know what the hell the dept of mental health was thinking by hiring her, but, it was wrong. Jack was a huge fat man, with dirty blond light brown curly hair who used his weight to push us around, Ellaine was a huge woman who was verbally and mentally abusive to us, Joanna was a short fat stubby woman with dirty greasy dark short hair who was awful to us too. they would walk around with their keys hanging off their belt loops like they were god, What us kid lived in was fear, we were so careful about what we said and did, so Bill really is a piece of shit in my book and I don't like him, I would rather have the staff come forward and be honest and apologize to us kids for the abuse the y gave us and tell us why. I am seriously and have been in the process of presecuting the dept of mental health and the staff members, I have all my records and it wasn't easy to get them because Gsaebler said I was never a patient there and I got them when they were still opened, it was hard to get but, I finally got them, they told a lot of patients that were there that they were never there when they actually were, it's just shitty, I get the whole concept of protecting the dept of mental health and it's abusers, I mean this is the fucked up society we live in, but, I will not stop unitl the day I die in getting the truth out so this kind of abuse will end once and for all.......

I worked there, Gaebler was no for kids who committed crimes you dam fucking asshole, it was for kids with behavioral problems, get your fucking facts straight. I have all that proof in my hands, I have all my records from Gaebler and Dss, so Mr Boiler Man Room, you don't know what really happened, yes there were staff there that cared, but, there were more that didn't and did abuse us. As for you hoping I find peace in this, I found peace in this the day I left there, my life is great, I am married to a wonderful man with 2 beautiful daughters. Stop sticking up for things that you don't know about and I was there from 82-84 on Ward D, so yes you do owe us an apology but, you just proved to me and everyone else on there that you are just like the abusers that were staff at Gaebler....You had no right to comment, you worked in the friggin boiler room, you were not on the Wards, so please do us all a favor and shut the fuck up, as for say Flushed should have been institutionalized longer is a really mean and hurtful thing to say to someone who was abused, you as an adult should be ashamned of yourself.....I am thankful you weren't one of the abusers on us, but, like Boiler1220 said you were not there to see it, you only saw the good, the bad was really ugly....

I Worked There,
WOW, you really have a nerve. Yes, the staff did want to work there, what they got paid had nothing to do with anything or any of this. They loved to egg as on so we would act out, you weren't there on the Wards with us, you weren't there to see what the staff did to us and how they would munipulate us and verbally,mentally and physically abuse us, you have no idea what went on. As for we had a great school with teachers, Yo ASSHOLE, we were locked in the fucking building to go to school, if we got priviledges to go outside, we were still in a locked black fench with a swing set, merry go round and basket ball net. Once in a blue moon they would take us on a nature trail walk thru the woods, but, once again, you had to earn that priviledge, and it was really hard to get it. Yes, I honestly believe that staff loved their job because they got paid to hurt children. You tell me how you would like to be thrown down on the cement floor, arms pulled behind your back and then thrown in a seclusion room and left in there til they felt like getting you out, they didn't let you out to go to the bathroom so kids would pee all over themselves, and sometimes they would rip our clothes off and use leather restraints and tie us to the bed naked on a cold rubber green mat and never covered us up and left us in there like that for hours, I mean really, you are an asshole to say the least. If you worked in the boiler room like you said you did then you honestly have no clue as to what went on behind the locked closed doors. Oh and this they never talked about wanting to do bad things to us kids, bullshit, yes they did, we as kids even heard it, they would say to us, remember we control whether you stay out of your rooms and the seclusion rooms so you will do whatever we say and want or you will pay the consequences, really? threatening us, you weren't fucking there so you have no clue as to what was said to us. As for planning activites for us, not on my friggin Ward they didn't and I was on Ward D. I got locked in a shower room, a 1 stall shower room, and had to be let in by a key and bang on the door to be let out, can u fucking imagine that? you are so mean to judge us and to stick up for the staff. The staff,the dr's, Thomas Heathwood, the therapists and conselors were in total control of us and made sure we were their friggin puppets. They did do activites once in a while but, that was just a cover up to get our mind off of the abuse they were giving us. As for you comment about the seclusion room maybe being wrong, but, the staff were low wage people working there, that is really shitty of you to say, so if they got paid a lot of money you are saying they wouldn't have abused us but, because we were kids with problems and they didn't get paid much to deal with is they had the right to treat us anyone they felt fit? WOW, it must be so great to be you and not be so judgemental. You really owe all of us on here an apology, you are really a poor excuse for a human being.

Flused,
I totally agree with you, I am sorry you weren't thru such a bad experience as a child, and yes, "I Worked There" has no clue, he worked in the friggin boiler room, he had no clue what us children went thru, I don't care what he says, he is a jerk and very uncaring and mean and he is just trying to stick up tor the staff, but, he was never allowed on the Wards and if he was it was only for a second cause he worked in the boiler room. Of course all the staff are going to stick up for each other, that's what they did, there was mental and verbal abuse and physical and sexual abuse at us children, we were drugged with Thrazine cocktail, benadryl and shots of I don't know what, there were offices on the 4th floor where the staff could bring any child and do whatever he or she wanted to that child cause we got locked in every room, Gaebler was a sick place, the staff were horrible and abusing us was a high for them. Mr I worked there, has no clue but, he wants to act like he cared about us children. that is bullshit no he didn't, he didn't meet us or hang with us, so he is a friggin liar in my book, and if he knows so much then that leads me to believe that he didn't really work in the boiler room at all and he was a staff member on one of the Wards and he is just playing with our emoions and feelings like all the other straff members did. I think he is just full of shit personally. And this isn't for staff to comment on to begin with, I mean this site was made for us children who lived there and got abused, it's for us to share our stories with our fellow friends who were, it's for us to share and help each other, not for a so called staff member to stick his or her nose in where it doesn't belong, if he cared so much about us children like he said he did, then he wouldn't have called us mental and the worst children in the state. I will not stop and trying to get justice for us children and expose the dept of mental health and the abuse that they caused us and still cause children to date....

I worked there,
I don't know who you are, but, you have as hell of a nerve saying we were the worst kids in the state and that diud we forget we were in a mental hospital, and that is why we there. Don't tell me you had to think saftey all the time, that is bullshit, a lot of the staff purposely set kids off cause it was a high to them to throw them down on the cold cement floor pull our arms behind our backs and cause us pain that was totally uncalled for and then throw us in a 2x2 seclusion room and lock the door and leave us in there for hours on end and let us piss all over ourselves. I am sure you were an abuser and you are lying about your position there. And they did not always warn us that they would put us in seclusion, they knew exactly what buttons of ours to push to set us off, you really are a horrible and mean person for saying this kind of stuff, I am sure if one your children were there you wouldn't be saying this stuff, I pray you don't have any children cause I feel really bad for them cause you probably abuse them. We weren't mental, we were kids with problems, but, I guess since you are the adult then you had the right to judge us and til this day you are still judging us. It wasn't our decision to act the way we did, we got set up and you know it. You talked to the staff about us all the time and they cared about us, bullshit, there were only a couple who did, you must be related to William Gaebler, or Thomas Heathwood who ran the place, or maybe you are Thomas Heathwood who lives in Newton,Ma. You drugged us, raped some of us, beat the shit out of some us, and got away with it, so don't you dare stand there and act like we were the problem, no we weren't, yes we did some bad things but, we didn't deserve the treatment we got, thorazine cocktails, shots of god knows what, rip our clothes off if we said we wanted to die or kill ourselves and leather restraint us to the metal bed in the seclusion room on a green rubber mat, and not even cover us up. I don't know how you live with yourself, we got drugged so we would be calm all the time, we got in trouble for every little thing we did, we were fucking kids and did the normal things kids our age did and didn't deserve the shit sandwich that you and the other staff members gave us. No one was in there for murder, so you are lying on that, I know that for a fact, I have been investigating the treatment that we as kids got, why kids were in there and if there were any kids that murdered anyone, they went to a juvinielle detention hall or lock up, not Gaebler, so shut your mouth up cause you are just talking shit. You are a poor excuse for a human being.